so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize