he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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