so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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