Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.

(1-508): View more from Massachusetts

Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?

(508): View more from Massachusetts

Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome

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(508): So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again. (1-508): Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years? (508): Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome http://tfl.nu/sfo6

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(208): View more from Idaho

Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.

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(208): Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes. http://tfl.nu/oxm0

Replies (5) Good night (967) Bad night (3260)
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(207): View more from Maine

Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man

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(207): Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man http://tfl.nu/9o60

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(502): View more from Kentucky

Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?

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(502): Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here? http://tfl.nu/rbfc

Replies (26) Good night (9135) Bad night (866)
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(225): View more from Louisiana

wtf

(1-225): View more from Louisiana

I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?

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(225): wtf (1-225): I'm guessing you saw the bathroom? http://tfl.nu/q0h6

Replies (12) Good night (4358) Bad night (1546)
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?

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(405): also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format? http://tfl.nu/009x

Replies (27) Good night (6481) Bad night (1523)
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(606): View more from Kentucky

I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.

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(606): I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped. http://tfl.nu/y7kh

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(513): View more from Ohio

he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.

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(513): he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk. http://tfl.nu/epms

Replies (7) Good night (3074) Bad night (956)
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(580): View more from Oklahoma

Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.

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(580): Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward. http://tfl.nu/95e7

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide

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(570): You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide http://tfl.nu/eycj

Replies (0) Good night (788) Bad night (817)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.

(908): View more from New Jersey

This is why you are not allowed out in public.

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(732): seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian. (908): This is why you are not allowed out in public. http://tfl.nu/xlma

Replies (1) Good night (656) Bad night (406)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.

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(781): Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios. http://tfl.nu/bgm6

Replies (1) Good night (482) Bad night (305)
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(514): View more from Quebec

I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.

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(514): I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is. http://tfl.nu/4ifb

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(573): View more from Missouri

He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.

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(573): He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it. http://tfl.nu/rclz

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(512): View more from Texas

I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.

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(512): I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis. http://tfl.nu/cttq

Replies (2) Good night (368) Bad night (271)

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