Texts From Last Night

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  (713): View more from Texas

  you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.

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  (713): you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank. http://tfl.nu/t4i5
  Replies (12) Good night (3666) Bad night (956)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.

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  (503): I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there. http://tfl.nu/oh3e
  Replies (19) Good night (4488) Bad night (733)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.

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  (248): Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone. http://tfl.nu/k3in
  Replies (11) Good night (967) Bad night (5175)
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.

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  (763): The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet. http://tfl.nu/fwq9
  Replies (20) Good night (6718) Bad night (1184)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.

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  (281): Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others. http://tfl.nu/smz5
  Replies (6) Good night (3655) Bad night (880)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard

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  (770): I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard http://tfl.nu/zjac
  Replies (9) Good night (1155) Bad night (2533)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.

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  (425): so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork. http://tfl.nu/y2vt
  Replies (0) Good night (1695) Bad night (706)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.

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  (903): All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed. http://tfl.nu/pos0
  Replies (3) Good night (2225) Bad night (679)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."

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  (770): You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt." http://tfl.nu/x17b
  Replies (8) Good night (1489) Bad night (633)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note

  (1+44): View more from

  Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!

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  (+44): Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note (1+44): Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud! http://tfl.nu/x31j
  Replies (4) Good night (1157) Bad night (609)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you

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  (503): So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you http://tfl.nu/f848
  Replies (6) Good night (1851) Bad night (510)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.

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  (316): You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form. http://tfl.nu/cz7h
  Replies (1) Good night (714) Bad night (463)
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  (716): View more from New York

  I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice

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  (716): I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice http://tfl.nu/9xrw
  Replies (1) Good night (586) Bad night (330)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.

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  (717): So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA. http://tfl.nu/qkjv
  Replies (3) Good night (1175) Bad night (609)
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  (435): View more from Utah

  I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.

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  (435): I asked to see his balls for medical purposes. http://tfl.nu/5we7
  Replies (3) Good night (326) Bad night (171)

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