Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
