and my herpes radar will keep us safe
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
My penis needs a shock collar
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.