yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.