Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
