I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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