Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
