giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
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