just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
