Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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