Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
