he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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