I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
My pussy is not your playground.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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