It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
