I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
