I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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