And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
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i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
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We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
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