I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
