I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
