shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Randomize
