I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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