also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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