This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I would fuck him just for his dog
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
