apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
So much Jack, so little girl.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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