your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
