Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
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