I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
