he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize