Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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