Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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