Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
How external is "for external use only"?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
