Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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