So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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