Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Drunk is not a location!
Randomize
