Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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