I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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