How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
