even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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