my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Randomize
