man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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