tell your sister to shave her snatch
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
