Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize