I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
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