It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
He better not be in your backpack
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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