i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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