I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
