i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
