Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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