You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
