Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
In America we eat man semen.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
