Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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