idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
