My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Randomize
