My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Randomize
