Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
And then he peed in my hair
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