I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
