Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
