You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
