i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
