I feel like abortions should bother me more
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
