She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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