I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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