I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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