she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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