Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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